The troubled mind and relationships

I've been in quite a few relationships. If you were lucky enough to have found the love of your life at first go, don't judge some of us who haven't. Yeah, I said it. But, I digress. My previous relationships were quite a mixed bag. Some were fun and tranquil while they lasted. A few were hell. Sometimes it was my fault, I admit. Sometimes it was the girl's. But that is not the point of this post.

Relationships can be pretty involving, physically, emotionally and mentally. Let's be honest, there are some partners who can really mess with your head. Based on their behaviour, you're constantly left with a splitting headache. Ladies, you wonder who he is with when he is out drinking, for example. For guys, you wonder if among those guy friends with whom she constantly hangs out, there isn't some bloke bonking her. Not that all these thoughts come out of the blue, no. Sometimes a guy or girl can be trusting, but his/her lover's behaviour can lead to suspicions. And that's not all; the constant arguments even over trivial things can be a bitch. You argue so much that sometimes you forget what you were arguing about but still stay mad at each other for days. Like I said; hell.

Now,  if you're someone who confesses to having a billion things running through your mind per second like me, such relationships are unhealthy for a number of reasons. But here is the worst one, according to me. You might end up hurting your lover. I mean, think about it. You already think about ways of, at best, hurting someone and, at worst, murdering them. Don't lie, you and I think about such things. Then in your life you have someone who is either constantly making you sad or angry. You just might decide one day to put those thoughts into practice. Put yourself out of your misery by taking THEM out of the equation, so to speak. That's how people in relationships end up killing each other. Their better halves add pressure to their already messed-up heads. I'ts like giving a tiny push to someone who was already on the tipping point. Am I speaking from experience? The thought part, yes. Practise? No. And I do not recommend it, either. No lover is worth going to jail for. At least not over something like that.

So here's the thing; if you know that your mind is a little too occupied, like mine, watch who you start a relationship with. If s/he is that constantly nagging, constantly hanging out with suspicious "friends" and acting like you don't exist type, then try to avoid it. Or, leave before it is too late. The extra emotional pressure is just not worth it. Your mind is already on the road to the funny farm. You just might end up with blood on your hands after a crazed episode. On the other hand, if YOU'RE the constantly nagging, constantly hanging out with suspicious friends and acting like your guy or girl doesn't exist type, then a relationship is not for you. You already know how hard all this is on your warped brain. Would you wish the same on someone else? I think not.

van Daks.