How NOT to go berserk

1. Count from 1 to 10. Backwards. Slowly. Repeat as often as necessary.
2. Music. Works better when alone. Also depends on the type of music. Works wonders, but it takes time to calm you down. Ineffective in the heat of the moment.
3. Laugh. Even when you're really pissed, a bout of laughter either calms YOU down or it makes your aggressor think you're crazy and they leave you alone.
4. Have a drink. My favourite. Numbs the anger and by the time you get drunk, you're usually free of anger. Be warned, though; it actually might fuel anger in some people. Addictive too.
5. Automatic switch. This takes a while to master. When someone pisses you off, adjust your mind; think happy thoughts. It can be a lovely place or your favourite person. Especially works if you have a very loving girlfriend. Ineffective if the favourite person is the one that's pissed you off.
6. Get laid. Nothing eases your mind better than a great roll in the hay. Works really well with someone you can lay back and talk silly stuff with in between rounds. And someone you don't have to pay afterwards.
7. Write sh*t down. It's surprising how calming this is. It works very well. Exhibit A.
8. Curse. Whenever you're pissed, use cuss words as a mantra. Works better when you're alone so people around you don't get offended. 'Sonofabitch' is my favourite.
9. Sleeping pills. Calm you down quicker than most ways. Highly addictive. Not recommended.
10. Kill people IN YOUR HEAD. Also works wonders. Murder whoever pisses you off. Your mind is at ease and you don't get to go to jail afterwards. Only in your head, mind. In some people, this might get out of control.

I've found that these work most of the time. Or maybe that's just me. Feel free to add any I may have missed. And no "seeing a shrink," damn you.

van Daks.